Volume 4: January 2023

The Stepping Stones Team wish you a happy and healthy 2023 and hope you enjoyed a restorative break. Often, we find that we come back from a break with the intention of working differently, smarter, better.

Sound familiar? January, of course, brings with it even more expectation with resolutions or goals being set for the year ahead. Often, we can't wait to start with a clean slate, setting off with high hopes, only to find ourselves feeling frustrated.

The Brain Doctor explains how this tends to come about. Her graphic shows where we often go wrong.

When trying to start a new habit we focus on intensity rather than consistency.

When we focus on intensity, we will fail to maintain the consistency and eventually give up.

When we focus on consistency, the intensity increases over time and a habit is formed.

Atomic Habits

There is a lot written about habits but one of my favourites is Atomic Habits by James Clear.

In his book, he shares what he identifies as the four rules to building better habits:

• make it obvious
• make it attractive
• make it easy
• make it satisfying

The best way to start a new habit is to create an implementation intention: 'when situation x arises, I will do y'. This is a plan of when and where you will do the thing, it brings clarity and reduces the need for decision making. e.g. on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I will leave work at 4.45pm.

Another great way to introduce a habit is though 'habit stacking'. Often, we decide what to do based on what we've just done. Attaching a new habit to something you do regularly or automatically means you are more likely to do it. e.g. after I take off my shoes, I immediately change into my workout clothes.

As humans we are hugely influenced by others and tend to align our behaviours to 3 social groups:

• The close: family and friends
• The many: peers and colleagues
• The powerful: those with 'status' of some kind

The behaviours and habits of those around us have an impact on us, which can be supportive, but it can also challenging. It's helpful to be aware of these influences and think about how they might help or hinder your intentions and habits. e.g. if you work in a school where everyone leaves at a similar time you are likely to align with that.

The key to building new habits is to keep going, keep moving forward even if it is slowly. The key is repetition. Repetition leads to physical changes in the brain - each time you do the thing, you are activating the neural circuit associated with that habit. This is a critical step in building automaticity, doing it without thinking about it. For a habit to become embedded you need to string together enough successful attempts at doing it.

Using a habit tracker can help build stick-ability of new habits. Firstly, it acts as a reminder but it's also motivating as you can see your progress, and this gives you a sense of satisfaction. It can also help you to get back on track if things get in the way and we lose a little momentum. If you miss a day, get back on it the next day and try not to let one day become two! Accountability partners can also be helpful, having someone to check in with. Partners can support one another and challenge one another.

The two minute rule

Start small and break tasks down until it's something you can do in less than 2 minutes - almost everything can be scaled down to two minutes: read one page, meditate for one minute, do one thing.

Want to learn more?

Read 'How to build good habits and break bad ones' by James Clear and Dr Chatterjee.

Please send this to a friend or colleague if you think they might find it find it useful too.

Until next time...

Sarah (and the Stepping Stones team)