Be an emotional scientist

Published 01/08/2023.  Last updated 25/10/2023

Stepping Stones banner

Volume 3: December 2022

As we head into December and the festive season, we can find ourselves feeling conflicted. It can be a magical time, but it can also be a time of unpleasant feelings.

Back in September I shared the work of Professor Marc Brackett. In particular, the importance of the question 'how are you'? I want to share a little more of his work with you today. Marc explains that when it comes to our emotions (and those of others) we can fall into the position of scientist or judge.

The emotional judge makes quick decisions based on little information about how they or others are feeling. The emotional scientist is curious and investigates feelings. They want a deeper understanding.

Being an emotional scientist is that it allows us to understand feelings. This improves our ability to regulate. Often when we discuss regulation, we talk about shifting the unpleasant feelings. We mustn't forget that regulation is also about creating and sustaining more pleasant feelings.

Marc offers a simple framework for helping us to be emotional scientists:

RULER

  • Recognise
  • Understand
  • Label
  • Express
  • Regulate

I will say a bit about each of them:

Recognise

Notice the presence of a feeling, the sensation of something pleasant or unpleasant.

Understand

Get curious about why this might be, why now?

Label

Recognising was broad and general. Labelling is about getting nuanced and specific. Sometimes this can be tricky. It's hard to label feelings but this is an important part of the process.

Express

Expressing our emotions is a co-skill, it's best done with others who will listen. Sometimes this means we need be brave and a bit vulnerable.

Regulate

With all this insight we can take actions that help to shift, sustain or enhance those feelings. The strategies for regulating our emotions are endless. The real trick to becoming an emotional scientist is becoming more aware. Being consistent with our strategies around what works and what doesn't work.

Questions to reflect on:

  • What are your go-to strategies?
  • What do you do to manage the heavy, unpleasant feelings?
  • Which strategies work the best?
  • Are there things you do that you know set you up well for managing the challenging feelings?
  • What helps you 'in the moment'?
  • Are there any new strategies you might try?

The more you can practise the skills of being an emotional scientist, the easier it becomes. As it becomes easier, your emotional regulation becomes more agile. You can use RULER for supporting the emotional regulation of others too. This might be your pupils, your colleagues, parents and carers, your family, or friends.

  • How are you feeling?
  • What are your emotional regulation strategies?
  • How are they working for you?

Want to learn more?

Please send this to a friend or colleague if you think they might find it find it useful too.

Until next time...

Sarah (and the Stepping Stones team)

^ Back to top

Be an emotional scientist

Published 01/08/2023.  Last updated 25/10/2023

Stepping Stones banner

Volume 3: December 2022

As we head into December and the festive season, we can find ourselves feeling conflicted. It can be a magical time, but it can also be a time of unpleasant feelings.

Back in September I shared the work of Professor Marc Brackett. In particular, the importance of the question 'how are you'? I want to share a little more of his work with you today. Marc explains that when it comes to our emotions (and those of others) we can fall into the position of scientist or judge.

The emotional judge makes quick decisions based on little information about how they or others are feeling. The emotional scientist is curious and investigates feelings. They want a deeper understanding.

Being an emotional scientist is that it allows us to understand feelings. This improves our ability to regulate. Often when we discuss regulation, we talk about shifting the unpleasant feelings. We mustn't forget that regulation is also about creating and sustaining more pleasant feelings.

Marc offers a simple framework for helping us to be emotional scientists:

RULER

  • Recognise
  • Understand
  • Label
  • Express
  • Regulate

I will say a bit about each of them:

Recognise

Notice the presence of a feeling, the sensation of something pleasant or unpleasant.

Understand

Get curious about why this might be, why now?

Label

Recognising was broad and general. Labelling is about getting nuanced and specific. Sometimes this can be tricky. It's hard to label feelings but this is an important part of the process.

Express

Expressing our emotions is a co-skill, it's best done with others who will listen. Sometimes this means we need be brave and a bit vulnerable.

Regulate

With all this insight we can take actions that help to shift, sustain or enhance those feelings. The strategies for regulating our emotions are endless. The real trick to becoming an emotional scientist is becoming more aware. Being consistent with our strategies around what works and what doesn't work.

Questions to reflect on:

  • What are your go-to strategies?
  • What do you do to manage the heavy, unpleasant feelings?
  • Which strategies work the best?
  • Are there things you do that you know set you up well for managing the challenging feelings?
  • What helps you 'in the moment'?
  • Are there any new strategies you might try?

The more you can practise the skills of being an emotional scientist, the easier it becomes. As it becomes easier, your emotional regulation becomes more agile. You can use RULER for supporting the emotional regulation of others too. This might be your pupils, your colleagues, parents and carers, your family, or friends.

  • How are you feeling?
  • What are your emotional regulation strategies?
  • How are they working for you?

Want to learn more?

Please send this to a friend or colleague if you think they might find it find it useful too.

Until next time...

Sarah (and the Stepping Stones team)

^ Back to top